My Two Front Teeth

All Pa Tom wanted for Christmas was his two front teeth

Where did the term “patience of Job” come from? It has to do with Job’s refusal to condemn God when Satan was allowed to destroy his family and his livestock. But, what if the livestock are trying to do the destroying? Remember the old song, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”? Well, It took that old 1400-pound Holstein bull 54 years to get his revenge. He was long ago turned into Bologna, but he got even.

On Memorial Day 1960, I went out into the 35-acre pasture to round up the cows for milking. One of them had calved. I went to check on the calf, and it was dry and walking. So, I slapped it on the butt and began walking it, and Momma Cow, towards the barn. Papa Bull was not happy! He began pawing the ground and lowering his head, so I picked up about a baseball sized lump of hard clay, and with the best fastball I could manage, hit him square between the eyes. It just made him mad! He came at me, caught me under the chin, and threw me about 16 feet.

I got up with my bottom front teeth hanging from my mouth, and cleared the five-foot high fence (Now, why couldn’t I jump like that in High School?). Anyway, my Uncle, an old WWII army dentist, was at the farm visiting, and he stuffed my teeth back in place. I received four of the first “root canals” our family had heard of. Well, 54 years later, my dentist discovered those old stainless steel pegs had started an infection in my lower jaw that had been going on for years. My friend, Sonny Weimer, took me to the Dentist in March, and it took nine months to build the jawbone up, but on Dec. 23rd, I got my new front teeth. Cambodian implants, feel real good!

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